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Bracknell pensioner fails

in lifetime ambition

Disappointed Bracknell resident Neil Corbett (76) looked glum today as he contemplated the ruins of a long held ambition.  “Whilst I’m proud of my honest working class upbringing,” said the elderly gentleman, “I’ve always thought that with effort and attention I could rise to the middle classes, but what I discovered about myself this week has put paid to all of that.  Admittedly my BSC degree was only from a Polytechnic but  I thought it might get me up there when I landed professional jobs.  I never gave up trying to act the part, I even shopped a few times at Waitrose.  I watched some Shakespeare plays and a couple of operas;  I listen regularly to Radio 4! I mean what more do I need to do?  “

“ It was all going so well, but then out of an interest in science and a wish to be more healthy and middle class I enrolled on the very trendy and expensive Zoe personalised nutrition programme. That ought to do it surely I thought. It’s all the rage in the middle classes. All the best people are walking around with continuous glucose monitors stuck to their arms.

Mr Corbett's Arm

However it was during the programme that I failed the final test of being middle class, because despite all my efforts, and many attempts at trying it, I had to admit that  I DON’T LIKE AVOCADO!” 

“So that’s it I suppose.Tragic!” sobbed the old man “There’s no way out of that.  Working class till I die.”